Surrendering

 

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What Surrendering means to YOU?

This morning I posted the above question on my facebook page, friends kindly added their comments either in words or photos.

Hand it over to God, go with a flow, Faith and trust, my reflection,…

Then I looked at Cambridge English Dictionary and found some definition on word “Surrender”

-stop resisting to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority

-If you surrender to an experience or emotion, you stop trying to prevent or control it

-the act of stopping fighting and officially admitting defeat

 Over the last couple of months, I have been asking some deep questions more as a self-enquiry and dialogue. As you saw above, we each have our own vocabulary and set of values and perceptions. Some of us might relate to a word base on its outer reality  and manifestation and relation to others and some of us, take it in and exam it with our own inner reality.

Surrendering is a powerful and mysterious verb! In my own inner web of happening. Few months ago, when I moved to Cyprus, a lot of earthy actions were required to  get settled. Like finding a right city, flat, get furniture sorted, import my personal effect, sort of residency and the list still goes on…

I moved from a space of solitude and not really be in the world, it was like a fast whirlpool of events and unpredictable changes, fast decisions and accepting the ones that I have no power over controlling them. At some stage, I needed to start my work whatever it feels right, as I have been involved in many branches of self-development and creativity, the possibilities were unlimited. Sometimes, we can do so many different things that our energy could even get scatter and the new circumstance overwhelm us in choosing by our heart than our mind. That was what happened immediately after I kind of settled a bit, I rushed into making things happen. Book venue for my own Poetry performance as an example and then suddenly something happened and I needed to adjust the event to something new, like a Dance event for others.

I noticed, something inside me wants to happen and I am not giving enough space to it, by fear or control, somehow my mind was interfering as I wanted to quickly choose what type of work I want to offer in Cyprus and get my financial rolling.

When spiritual side of journey takes over, which is true in my case, you need to have inner space where life could breathe and moves and it also moves you along the way and many happening becomes effortless and through synchronicity, and that is how universe works and if we really become awaken to Self, we become masters of this ART of being, SURRENDERING.

The last two weeks, due this rush and not giving myself and higher self enough space, I experienced few undesired interactions and outcomes which created chaos and deep heartache for me and what is better than pain and sorrow to teach us! When dream becomes real and too serious that only reflects back that we moved into making things happen, even when we do it with love and openness, if our entire being is not align with it, unconsciously we create a scenario for ourselves that leads us to become more awaken to those lower views and perceptions we carry within our own energy and also belief system. We carry many burdens, our mind before age of 5, created a list of all of should and should not!

For me, surrendering is more than a space than a verb! Do we really a doer even when we sit and pray? What really takes place? How close or far we connect to the source and creator?Is surrendering our last refuge to give up control? What happens, when you say” I surrender.” Something suddenly opens up, a flow, a softness. It feels you now can rest peacefully in what is either in front of you or inside you.  We lose our borders, lines of beginning and ending. Suddenly, we feel more intimate with life.

 

Surrendering is a space to breathe into it. Inner or outer challenge might not disappear, but it lose its power over us, not because we are defeated or lost a fight, there was no fight to begin with. We only fight with ourselves and all we see and perceive only appears in that moment to reflect back our own disability to let more of life in.

The moment we surrender, life takes over and even our body gets more relax, mind might choose to continue the draw new borders, separated and imaginary lines, but it is only in our imagination. If we arrive to this place that makes surrendering possible, we find our way into magic of present.

After the last few days, exploring deeper into the feeling of surrendering, I started to feel more love for myself, getting quiet and slow, just paying attention. I began feeling my soul breathing inside, someone is here and I am not. The I AM, whom makes things happen and try to find the smartest ways to create an income, I noticed these are still layers of skin over the consciousness  and the only way, the next stage unfolds or appears is for me, to Surrender!

The next few months, surrendering ( as verb) might look and appear different, because it is just a space, for happening, like a womb. When I arrived, I was far more surrender because I came from silence and even I went through many activities, life was flowing, but as my mind began active and judging and controlling , I became disconnected within and surrendering couldn’t invite me in any longer, so, after few shocks and some drama attacks, the observer immediately took me into NO Action, NO engagement and now again, I feel the expansion of Surrendering within and it will follow to external like any other inner reality, we carry in our energy and vibration.

Being is Surrendering! Embarking the journey with no borders and no idea of faith or trust. No idea of here and there. No idea of control and resistance. It is our ideas that takes us out of Surrendering.

Surrendering is a praise to the soul’s song, like a morning ray of sun on a petal a rose.

Serena Devi

 

 

 

In Centre

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Between all of the mess and glory which we call it life.
Where, we laugh, cry, pray, enjoy, afraid, make love, run, teach, unlearn, get confused, hurt, smile and finally when we had enough, get quiet.
Between all the masks we wear all through life, man, woman, lover, spiritual, poet, artist, teacher, master, begger, guru, traveler,..
Between all the chaos and noises… drop everything that you think you know,
no planning, no going or coming,
no knowing or not knowing
no words, no sound
listen to your centre.
rest in silence,
like a wave of an ocean,
like a bird in sky,
like a baby in her mother’s womb
like a day knowing her night
like a poem written without a pen
like a grape swimming in her own taste
like a lovers, kissing without a lips, touching without a body.
rest in your centre,
like a spring murmuring in her cherry blossom
like me, sitting alone on white sheets of my heart
knowing, one drop of your love
will turn everything in floating ocean of ecstasy.

I say no more, my beloved,
as no longer I know, who is here and who is gone.
Love is mute, magical and free.

Serena Devi

Who is my twinflame?

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Say it loud, who is my twinflame?

When one travelers as long and as deep as I do, feelings become gateways to new landscapes and bridges. I never know, when moments will take me. Have my knowing helps or changes the unfolding path?

Many years ago, I had a mystical encounter is a very significant way, because I was a child, I barely remember what took place. I never forgot my feelings. Those feelings was a sign of presence of God or at the time I felt, something arrived, warm, kind. It held me long enough that my tears stopped, clouds disappeared and I began to experience something different from any other thing, people, or concept. I met my own soul, too young to understand or explain.

Today, entire world is talking on all social Medias of the phenomenon happening of the shift, rise and transformational consciousness, how we all are love and Divine.  Today, we have more yoga classes and meditation than ever been offered on planet. And also we are desperate to connect to peace, finding purpose and get out the rush hours and fast track of daily activates.

Our mind is the trouble maker however most of us are afraid to let it go and let something new takes place. Some of us were blessed to have some kind of mystical experience that provoked us at some point in our part to enquire deeper the meaning of being, asking important questions and not settling unless our hearts say “Yes” to answers. Sometimes there is no answer and again we need to know how to accept.

What makes a mystic; a mystic, is inner authority and unbreakable, unshakable faith in the face of unknown. Today, I began writing daily as it was the case few years back after massive fire in my heart and her initiation. My pen poured out over 500 poetry on this blog, of my encounter with love of my life, with my twinflame. I went to another dimension, meeting love, dissolving in love. I never met the earthy mirror again and that was the most painful human/woman experience in my life. Longing and yearning for a dream. Love seeking an object for her affection, is like a dog chasing his own tail. And god knows, I did chase. I broke every rule, any idea or approach called healthy or unhealthy in love, relationships, and even I went beyond acting on obsession.

It was not need, and yet it was as required as air for my breathing. My heart shattered over years, writing emails, letters, silence, publishing poetry books, an still sometime was burning so deep. It took about real 6 years after that encounter, that veils kept me from seeing the purpose of such a meeting and heart initiation. I took 4 years complete solitude to hear the true voice of a true lover. A profound sense of self took over and realization of who I am. Fire was gone, a warm, sensual river planted in my heart, move in and out of my breath, loving became simple, free with no direction. The man was no longer an object, he was not outside and all these years I chased an reflection of all that was carving, speaking and making love from within.

I just decided to write more, not sure how this will be concluded, here on my blog, in a  book, or just an echo inside my mountains.

I have lost my mind and my heart now sees and speaks. The world is no longer the same. I hear all songs and some still invites me to explore the sense of my belonging as a human.

Do I still believe in love and coming together of twinflames, I say, believe has nothing to do with it. I believed in many thing years ago and today I laugh to how small my perception was.

Do I want this to be true? Having a partner, exactly match my vibration, my blue print! Again, I have no say. Either you are awaken or not, if you are not, still dreaming and if you are, neither this nor that, will make any difference.

The world is still here, but my eyes see nothing in the mirror and they are moments, I ask my heart, my divine within, what happened to me?

And I hear a whisper…. You are the happening! There are no walls, no destination, no lover to arrive or leave.  You want something when you believe in having… we do no ask every moment of life for air, do we? We do not ask every day for Sun? do We?

Your twinflame, your tribes even, your family and friends, ocean, birds, trees and music, they are all you.

I hear a whisper, gentle, kind, always with a bit of pepper and salt, amazing sense of humor, gazing into not knowing and feeling every moment as it is.

There is no more powerful passion than loving yourself. The rest is just there to serve this purpose, the world, the yoga and meditation classes, lovers, books, aloneness, parties, sex, poetry, dance, music, clouds, blue sky and dark oceans… all together are showing one masterpiece. YOU!

©Serena Devi

 

 

Burning Love

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This path is too long
I can’t remember where my roots are buried
where seeds of my joy will be planted.
Today, I am here with no cloth or name,
I am here with no past or future
love won my silence and words became a stranger
love conquered the bridges to my heart
and aloneness became my husband.
Do not ask me what my plans are,
do I know who I am…
because I cry.
Because this path is too long
to be shared with anyone,
not even the shadow.
Everything must be dropped, purified, screamed
Dissolve in light of silence.
You know my heart is yours
so my life and integrity,
stop this torture, let me rest in knowing
that I know nothing,
help me to surrender
as my body is no longer my home,
I belong to nowhere, to no one.
So, I must be with You,
it MUST be US,
who knows except the maker
the songs of my heart
tears of my gratitude
and joy of seeing your eyes and forgetting mine.

The path is too long,
and love so burning,
there is no other way
but be a burning sun when you love God,
As I do,
Be silent my heart, I am the burning one.

Serena Devi, Feb 2017, Larnaca