The veil

received_10207408590030499Diary – 15th September 2015

Few days ago, I had a brief encounter with a yoga teacher whom appeared to be enlightened and in touch with his essence.  I need to remind, this contact took place on line. As we chat and rapport began building up, he told me he has a great interest in creating and building shapes and form with body. As me being unaware of his ideas and techniques, childishly I continue the chat. The next day, when I opened the social media we were chatting, I saw a short note, limited to a few words, form, shape, light and in attachments wad two half naked picture of him, a wonderful photography technique but beyond my imagination that all creative sense of this new friend focus on self-nude  exposed. I still kept the face up and took a deep breath, as the energy between us was developing into a sensual one, I was observing my own feelings and how am I relating to this sharing. Having arrived to this new adventure and also a challenge, I went back to him asking if he is in a relationship. Calmly and confidently he informed ne, he has a beautiful girlfriend, but they are not in living relationship, means each has their own home and are very open with each other and both interested in exploring more of different facets of life. I took a moment of silence and express my view on relationship and marriage which I value and consider a sacred bond. I suggested we move with care and awareness. Before. I know, he was in Bathroom, sending photo of the tub and saying bath is sensual and in few seconds I got the last photo with him standing with a tight sheet around his hips, showing all his body parts and title was the veil!!!  I told him immediately this is impropriate and I do not welcome such an expose and push of his masculine energy in my feminine space.

It took few hours for me to digest what was really happening. At what level, I co created this. Of course it was a connection and chemistry between us, when this experience shaped and I followed my sense and interest to know this person. For me, spiritually is a breath I take and truth of all happening comes before my own intake and valuation. So, here is to everyone who wants to expand and explore life in a deeper sense. Internet has made a global connection possible for all of us, to meet, share and learn. We are one and as much we wish to keep this oneness and experience more of our own wholeness, honoring other people’s inner space and integrity is as much as important. I did enjoyed my interaction to this fellow traveler on earth to the level which was a mutual interest to know, mirror and reflect back. And I was disappointed, shocked after the tub scene, that I was left with a choice of walking away and honor my feminine and also question myself, what on earth I have act that gave this man permission to shove his masculine energy into my soft and open space.

I am writing this not of disrespect and di value toward this person, but of concern for women whom for centuries been used physically, emotionally and even mentally without consent by unconscious masculinity. And kept themselves in fear and helplessness instead of standing in their power and truth. Still at the edge of all spiritual shifts and evolution, women are pushed and forced into undesired circumstances by unaware and unconsciousness masculinity and whose fault is that!! I share my life experience and walk my path in transparency and trust in my divine nature, I do believe us all here to do and be the essence, the source within us is pure, boundless and open. Part of our earth education is balancing our bodies and souls, our feminine and masculine and until we learn this dance, we all meet our shadow sides which only reflects through the life events and people. I came out of this experience stronger and more clear on who I am and what I allow in my consciousness and space. I see this man as a teacher who helped me to recognize my choices at a deeper level and trust my inner guidance and protect my purity and innocence of soul and being and invite humans, men and women to focus more in nature of their doings, sharing and offering. My heart is heavy still, as I wanted to have this new friendship and valued our sharing until it became masculine masturbation than exploring and unveil soul’s beauty. Time to live consciously and it takes much more than nice words, poetry and calling oneself a teacher.


photos: Self taken by the Yoga teacher

Moments of aloneness

314812_367625259977595_1660880617_nWe only can be happy if we are authentic and truthful to who we are. Over the last 5- 6 years since I am writing in this blog, I shared many pages of my life through words, sometimes in poetry, or an essay. Sometimes an ART work, from this day on, I begin a new ay of relating to my feelings, observation and how I reflect back and share with other fellow traveler on the path of self discovery.

I changed the name to Diary of  a Mystic, perhaps in many ways mystics and Sufism had played a great deal in my soul journey. My poetry is inspired by Eastern Mystics like Osho  and Great Sufis like Rumi and EnayatKhan.

This is a new beginning at so many levels, writing from soul and moving toward freedom with every choice we make on daily basis seems easy, but, in physical reality, everything is slow and requires time to manifest. So, let hope this diary from today’s on, will be a transparent and vibrational meeting place for whoever wish to know the way of mystics.

The first entry is dated about 5-6 months ago, I chose to publish it today, so it gives some idea of how the landscapes of journey will transform an nourish our beings.

April 2015, Brighton – Moments of aloneness

All through my life, I had countless moments of aloneness, some came heavy with feeling of despair, loneliness and loss, on others, I found a gift, a place of freedom and detachment, witnessing how my body, mind and soul comes together in one space, while no one is really around me. Over the last 6-7 years of life, from one extreme of being out there, in the world, make money, have a social calendar and chase after boys J, I am moved into a very deep solitude and timeless space which constantly shifting from movements to stillness and time for reflections and again events like waves rise from ocean of stillness and somehow, there is Serena and her little boat or even a big one, who knows, she I just on a voyage, travelling into deeper water of her own being. Since I am back to UK, staying in this peaceful haven of Buddha, sharing my life in a community that I am quiet new to it, I have learnt great deals and seems the school life is still committed in my soul developments.

I am still walking alone, perhaps deeper than ever, I tried to make friends which was always easy for my social personality over the years, but somehow after 4-5 months, it seems sitting in coffee shop and focusing on my purpose, writing and sharing on web, is the way things are. I miss humans, even it is about 30 people resident in the Buddhist center and a lot of conversations go on in kitchen and once in a while some new guys arrive for a few weeks whom could become a challenge for some, a mirror for others, an revolutionary experience for me, apart from all comes and goes and short and long conversations, my heart is alone, I believe at one stage, things will shift and it is very close for me to stand in public and truly open up to what has been playing my heart in private so masterfully and lovingly and I let it dance, sing, inspire and share… and only Divine and few of us on earth, truly knows how hard the path of mastery is. It doesn’t give you a moment rest in autopilot, it burns you, melt you and reshape you to serve the good of all and eventually you give up questions, useless attempt to make things happen the way you want, you stop planning or even you are going down with head, you stop grasping the air in hope you catch someone’s hand. There is no one in my dream, there is no other in yours either. This aloneness is home, a cocoon that you always go back to integrate and allow happening, not just external one, but mainly the internal ones.

We all Masters, we all came to Earth, to discover and cultivate our Mastery, however our timing is different, some already flowered, and some not even planted in the soil. I only could speak of my own experiences so far, and that is what most mystic can offer. A bag full of no logical experiments and experiences and a width spectrum of aloneness that is the most intimate part of your being and like layers of onion unfolds your true nature, so in time, pain, sorrow and despair transforms to your inner treasures and the unmeasured and unsaid wisdom that gives the ability to see beyond time and happening. Am I a Master?! I am no longer a woman with desires and do lists, I am no longer seeking or trying to become anything… My song is getting slower, more loving toward everything and everyone and what is more new and strange is the comfort and easiness that I feel with myself, sitting doing no-thing, or spend the whole day ,concentrating on my new website design, or just go to Brighton pier and watch hours and hours how waves moving to shore, dance of seagulls, and feel the force of wind on my back and this body that is constantly transforming and reshaping, feels powerless in front of such a strong wind, even to hold on her breath.

So I slowdown to be more grateful and mindful of all happening. Witness this magic that every second unfolds in me and through my life, I share it where I can, because my heart still beats and sings, love songs, perhaps my words carry less smoke, less of what used to be my personality, but for sure, what is here, in this body is more passionate and fiery than ever about her purpose, more determine to be truthful and transparent.

Coast to coast, we move into unknown water of life, embracing change and loss, fall in love with who you are and where you stand, truth of existence is simple and graceful, accept your humanness and be soul.

Heart prayer for home coming


Friday 8th May – Heart Prayer
Today, I pray for what my heart truly desires, longs and been expanding to.
Our Beloved Universe,
bring me a place of resident, a place for rooting, for building and sharing. A place close to heaven and its music, a place that I invite lovers, friends, seekers and my true love in.
A place for teaching, eating, laughing, dance and celebration.
Beloved Universe,
Bring me the highest possibilities to be Who I am, serve the creator, share with others, in love, in gratitude and harmony.
Beloved Universe,
give wings and strength to my vision, to Seraphim Vision and, provide me whatever is required to establish this vision in form, to build House for all lovers of you, to take their soul journey in safety, sharing and warmth of their soul tribes.
Beloved Universe,
give me the freedom of all thoughts and emotions, all memories and old way of living, nothing to hold me back to stand, powerful and transparent as a SOUL, as a Divine Vessel and BE a devote to flames of Truth and serve as an Alchemist, and seraph.

May before the next full moon, this deep longing in my heart manifest in the most amazing possible way, as the honey drops of heaven fall on my head  in each breath and the stream of forever love and joy of divine presence in my heart flows. I said it in words, I surrender to present, I bow to whatever rise and meet me in this moment and the next ones. Grateful and humble, I am in love of everything, and may this truth that lives and breathe in me, manifest the dream of all humanity, “HOME COMING”.
Love you all.
So be it.

Collabortation with Seraphim Vision and Project

Originally posted on Seraphim ART of being:


Dear Friends,

The House of Seraphim Project has been a burning passion and vision of my life since 2008. The time has arrived to ask Universe to bring all Right collaboration and soul friends which are directed and guided to create and build this evolutionary way of living alongside this humble soul.

I am inviting all lovers of Truth, peace, Divine destiny who are initiated with fire to answer their own heart longing and join this project. Please take a responsibility to your heart calling and get involve.

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