In your search,
I abandon all memories,
Seasons,
all I was familiar with
once.

In your search,
I cut my heart,
In many pieces,
left them at each cross
Where love got crucified
For the sake of ignorance.

Can’t you see,
Every step I took
Since we met
I have been trying
To get closer to you.

Can’t you see,
My thorn apart heart,
My eyes full of tears,
The bended body
Around web of time,
Counting beads,
counting breaths,
Hoping to meet you again.

There are many kinds of women,
Wives, mothers,
queens, prostitutes.

I was a different kind,
My body was made of love,
soft like a silk,
sweet like a chocolate,
I wanted just to love,
and i did.
it was much harder
to accept, to be loved
without fear of judgment
in my own mind or another.

Every beating took me closer within,
away from distractions,
away from the game of life,
away and so deep in love,
That I forgot that I have a body,
That I have a face.
I became You.
When each cell
turned upside down,
By force beyond mine,
Until nothing was left,
from the old me.

This woman,
standing alone,
here, in now
Has lost all her thorns,
her memories, her desires,
or even her needs
Her human form
is still here,
What is inside
is far deeper, darker,
freer,
Than what once
was appeared on earth,
As a newborn.

I was a different kind,
I lived with my heart
between my palms,
I knew nothing except love,
The greatest mystery of all,
The womb that holds everything,
From sadness to the shadow,
Within I found peace,
a small nest
to sleep close to your dream.
Create and discover
more of what is unsaid
inside each human’s heart,
longing to belong,
to be whole.

Your love,
made me different,
What is here,
is not mine anymore,
I gave it all back
All through my years
on earth,
I melted in your love…
In sadness, in joy, in light, in dark
In nothingness.

My share of happiness
Rises every morning from east,
Where all sparrows
fly parallel to sun,
My share of happiness,
Ends every evening
Where my eyes zoom into sunset
and heart beats follow
the colourful wings of butterflies
to rest in your faraway shore…

I am a different kind of woman,
The kind that couldn’t bear a child,
Yet, had a courage
to carry the burden
Of reflecting the truth,
Get hit by stones, break in silence
The floating life that I come from,
Might make a tragedy of my life
As a woman, as a human,
Yet,
in the heart of everything,
I know, I am a soul
And I shall stay on my path,
In your search,
I take all the hurt
And be stoned,
Till my body crashes and dies.

I am surrender inside
To your love,
and accept
What is outside.

Yes,
I am a different kind,
I know my origin,
I know my nature,
love is my home,
with you,
Every step I take,
I am closer
To our home.

© Serena Devi, April 2011

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