Do you hear me inside this space, I call in inside… so, you must be out.. Somewhere in time and space.. Listening, still hoping.. They understand, they change… but I tell you… from the other side of death… they will never know what you felt.. They never faced death as you did and still do.
Death has been a great consultant, when you die every day to what you know about yourself, your life, your family… you learn the greatest lesson of life…Truth is not what I think or even see, Truth only breathes in moments and could be disguised in any form, it touches you for a moment, like a wild wind and then it is gone ..for another new moment.. and to meet this untamed, mysterious and seductive side of life, I call it… many Call him God… for me, the mystery is a thirst I can never satisfied.. For this desire to feel truth… I accepted this indescribable life, full of let go, ache and aloneness. I accepted to let go of everyone, because all I ever wished for, is to meet the mystery of God in each breath and I become refresh and new, every moment, not knowing who I am, where will I go… The world is a bubble, a platform to change my trains and have coffee of different platforms, with strangers who might become friends and with my own blood family who became strangers… This has been a path, not chosen but has lived in full spectrum..
I used to know who I am, calling my name inside the bobble of life. I used to know, who my relations are, thinking no one will go away, but they did. Some, I asked them to leave,, some, asked me without words to let me go. I have been grieving for the last 9 years for all the loss that any human heart could experience, I felt depth of that suffering.
I danced between shadows and edge of hope, faith. Or surviving. I was wondering if one day, anyone come back to look into my mirror, to see what they really played in my life when I was left in cold of winter, in street of Vancouver, nowhere to go, no one to turn to!
What happened when my friend of 35 years turned me away when I asked for a loan to pay for my hostel! I asked myself there and then, who are these people…
What did I do wrong? God answered, not in words, more of showing that the world is the mirror. All that is lost, was part of me, all that rises, is part of me.
And one day, I looked into the mirror and nothing was left from the world, I see a body, an intelligence here… and more of love than I ever imagined… I am free, I forgot their faces.. even the scars on my heart are fading. I am at the other side of this road, journey of discovery.. if we ever can call it the other side, I am there.. outside of boundaries, boxes, imitation of life.
When flames become your home, when alchemy becomes your only sanctuary, you choose surrendering, there is nowhere to hide, to stop, to pretend or preach. You are no longer standing in front of God. You are God and where we go after by know that. Don’t you forgive? Don’t you forget?
I did, I do. But I also never go back and never invite the nightmare in. I chose my heart, my simple and yet unpredictable life. I choose my true lover, the invisible one. Loving God, will take away your human personality, attachments, names, faces, belonging, fake friendships and connections.. Loving God, carves you, to your bones, until nothing is left, but truth. Devotion to mighty one is a priceless gift that no one really knows about it, until, you loss everything.. You realize nothing was yours to even begin with.
I am embracing 2017, from at the other side my life, Heaven, I arrived safe and free. I am saying Hello to the world and I am a true child of Sun, loving, dancing offering my life to the creator.
This year I no longer be anonymous, homeless and alone. I am standing in light and devotion to the creator of all,
Can you hear the voice of silence inside my words?
Can you see the dream of Heaven on earth, inside my heart?
I am here, outside of boundaries, limitation, fear, I am standing on Land of love…
Hello my children, Come home.
Larnaca, Cyprus 5 Jan 2017