All roads bring us back to one place, our own hearts. We begin early, almost before 5 years old, to imagine, to feel connected by stories. We close our eyes and listen to our parent’s voice, reading from the children book. We begin trusting that voice, it becomes the center of our small universe. They continue reading stories, but not from children books, from their own version of life.
Before the age of 10, we all wearing glasses, put by their fearful and controlling egos. We do not have a chance to see the original version of the world. The created one by life, by love and desires of divine, to see the heaven and dance with butterflies.
Human stories are sad and distant, it brings a cold feeling into our hearts and gradually move each one of us into isolation. The dreamer dies in us and we no longer feel inspired to play games and run after wind on clouds of imagination.
Darkness is part of the light, like voice be a part of silence. But how could we see and feel the joy rather the pain, how we paint a mesmerizing picture without playing with shadows and colors.
To understand our own nature, we must take that unavoidable journey into our hearts. It is a cave, it is full of aloneness, and also full of discovery. We are the never ending stories of creation. Not, because human species are special. In the eyes of Divine and the maker, life is life, however, every part of life is a unique expression and it is our own responsibility as well as endless joy, to discover our uniqueness and let it be.
It took me over 40 years, since I was a child to finally trust my heart over anything I see or hear in the outer world. I did loss many things which at the time seemed important, including my relations, my family and friends. I grieved and sometime I still do, it is not in the loss or past, we have to look into. It is present that invites our gaze. It is not enough to just be here anymore, gazing into heart, means feeling everything, we became so afraid of our own feelings. Not emotions, they are more like a surface waves, anger, rage, excitements, and lust even version of love… all are outer reality of our feelings…
I became so slow, so far away from noise of every day of life that feelings became my true guidance. Some call it intuition, some third eyes. For me it is boundless ocean of connection with energy, life as rise and present a mirror and then with another wave, it is gone. Can we live in freedom?
Without any attachment, as humans, arrive in that timeless space that we all seek and desire and not prepare to feel it, because that costs everything. That costs us to live simple, to think simple and yet be able to create magic with our hearts.
Feelings are roads to intimacy, most of our lives, we seek it with another, even in our spiritual awakening the concept of twin flames and soul mates are strongly influenced many of us, as we want to receive something tangible, measured of our hard journey to love. True or false, we move into the world, touched by many facts and experiences and then, we have our own intake to see what is true and what does not feel right. It is a paradox, as myself experienced a time in my life, falling in love with a man whom I truly felt oneness in a momentary encounter and became a burning flame in my heart. I used to see and relate to him as a twin flame.
Today, I look back and wonder, I smile and say nothing, as I no longer need to label my feelings, my past or future. As far as my knowing goes, I am a melody between a great songs of God, on earth, being pulled and molded as waves of ocean, moving into the shore. I could believe anything if I wish to, but why I take away the innocence of this moment, by believing into anything. Into desire to any happening.
We have the ability to draw inspiration, in any form which we can imagine, create and receive. As long as we are centered in our heart, we are powerful and united with river of life. It took this understanding 40 years to sit in me, and still carving the extras from my being. I choose to feel deep, I chose to trust that over everything my eyes see. I am no longer feel as a one person, standing on earth, alone or with others!
I am no person, I am ever changing wave in ocean of life. Flowing, opening, moving in and out of chaos, finding a new balance, resting in stillness and again rise into a new shaping wave. The structure once built my life is gone, there is a genius intelligence in place, does not require my doings, it requires my surrendering. The only guidance to make this happen, is in the heart. It is never the same, it is a constant change, a deep sense of space and freedom comes with it, but there is a price for this, non- attachment is the key to unlock the power of this magic. It never belongs to the person, it is beyond the world of logic and science and rational mind, and it is rooted in truth, in love.
I did not know what falling in love means when I encountered the object of my love. Over the years, it burnt and melted all understanding, attachments and desire to control the outcome, with him or with my own life.
I wake up not remembering much of past, of anything or anyone. I only see the face of sun, the invite of day, into walking along the beach, listening to birds, I hear the heaven, in a movement on waves, dance of trees and playful children building sandy castles.
I see many people every day as I walk along the beach, they see nothing, they hear nothing, and they live in the chaos of their minds and if they sees caught something, a new product, a sexy girl, handsome fellow, it is only to meet needs. I know the routine, I lived by it years after years, and our needs never end unless we learn non attachment. We learn to live for now, without trying to hold on anything. This gratefulness is running deep in open hearts, it is the remedy for suffering. To be free, to be who you are.
My advice is not waste your precious life by following your parents stories, your societies demands. Be a child again, chase butterflies, love newness, paint with all of you, get colors on your nose, fingers and clothes, let life waves touches your heart’s shore. Love is coming, every day is every way, let her in, it might break your heart, it might bring tears. It will end your suffering, I am certain of that, ends your yearnings. Let your soul speaks and your foot dance on earth, loving yourself, loving all.