Who is the Master?

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Within the labyrinth your feelings, behind stones and hidden roads, where dreams and desires seems gone and storm of change seems the only reality that your mind can grasps, you must slow down, become still, let your eyes get used to unseen, inside the dark, where all signs are slept in night and the melody of moon doesn’t have the bass to move away your worries, doubts. You can always listen, to that sacred voice within, silence.
It is normal to be uncomfortable, to be afraid, and yet allow new ways move into your awareness, and some old ones leave. What most of the time troubles, is our human stories, what we are identified with, how deeply rooted we are in the world of forms, how honest we have lived with our own heart?

The path of mastery is a less travel path, not much signs or even travelers, you walk with your shadow, sleep on rocks and cold grounds, days might feel like years, once in a while, above your head you see a falcon, an eagle, or just a moving dot, perhaps a bird beyond time soaring new frontiers. You wonder, if you chose the right path, or if you are the right person, no one is out there, in deep silence, it is only you and aloneness, speaking, showing, and giving you courage to move closer to center of your fears, where you can find whatever you need for the rest of your Soul journey.

Today, a white feather is coming toward you, untouched, light, and full of promise. Open a space with palm of your hands, let it land there. Let your eyes get soft around the ages, then gently touch the softness, fragile and delicate, it is life. You can write with it, you can put it on your hat as decoration, you can use it for a ritual, and you can listen to its magic. You can share a journey with this white feather into unknown and undiscovered parts of life, the first secret into Mastery begins with becoming Receptive and open.

You begin to feel the pulse of nature, hear the wind murmur beneath autumn trees’ leaves, you open to an untold story of moments. This feather is a better teacher than “I”, it arrives from nowhere, in asks for nothing, it offers everything she is, it surrenders to your touch, it become receptive.
Now ….Who is the Master?

Serena Devi

Let’s die

Let’s die to all small and big emotions of unsafety, loneliness, hurt and betrayal, failure and suffering.
There is no one’s fault, no image, no thought, no moment rises without being allowed, consciously or unconsciously by you.
Someone wants to wake up, it feels hard to sit still, accept and let silence nurture the exhausted self, the undeveloped and unloved parts of you. The desire for surrendering rise from your womb, the ache and longing for softness and receptivity, through time and space.

Who are you, within web of my body, are you Soul? Personality, a drop of a water from ocean of consciousness, all the undissolved parts waiting for alchemy process, to turn into love!! Who are you?
I call you, to come and sit with me, with gentleness of sky and patience of trees. Your presence is all I need, to find the strength to stand as whole in this unbearable pain and not runaway, not hide, not blame, just die in my own loving embrace and witness how the crack in my heart widens, moment by moment for the light to open up and show me the secret pathway to lifetimes patterns of self-sabotage and manipulation, fear of being authentic.
Sorrow is part of our breathing, it carves inside out, the passage for the flow of acceptance, self nourishing and love.

Let’ die to all stories of control and success,
To all false senses of security, belonging and power.
I want to die and at the same time give life to this intense feelings of discomfort, wow and wonder and extremely painful of maturity in my human form. When, moment by moment, waves take me from joy and playfulness, to disconnect and pressure, just to open a new gate and invite a deeper relation with all parts, as Who I AM.
Perhaps it is my last hope, or my first authentic act to retrieve all parts of my soul, in the present without fear of rejection and disapproval. It worth dying…Isn’t death also a beginning?
The deeper I look into the mirror of the world, the deeper I must travel to underworld of my feelings, meet the shadow and unloved and even lost parts of my soul. Some, I must bury with love and care, with patience and compassion, some, I have to sit, months, even years, for the invite… just to enter, just to accept, to open and allow healing… for self love to grow.
Can I ever travel beyond my stories? Some sounds like an old gramophone, pausing, rewinding on its own….I am tired of repetition of the sorrow stories, the abandon child and the hermit path.
Can I finally admit, surrender to life as it comes, let flow truly moves me forward. Can I enter this moment, virgin, no sense of good or bad, no need or desire to do or not to do.
Let’s die and open up to more love, fall into unknown and even when it feels my skin is burning and I can’t stand one more minute in front of the heat of transformation and illumination, lets stay still, while parts of me dying that no longer serving my growth.
Let die and accept this human experience as without this body, I could never know, how beautiful I can be, how hard the ground of life feels and how amazing standing up is. How much more I can delve in, to be more truthful, humble and sensitive to all.
Let die and accept the agony of lessons and changes and embrace the magical ecstatic moments of ecstasy, when everything becomes one, and feels I never left home.
Today, I crossed a deadly desert, still feel hot, confused, vulnerable, nowhere to hide, rest or wait for the next day. So, come and hold my hands, my light, my shadow, my ache in the chest, my forever lover, my breath of longing, come and stay with me, until I die completely, turn to ashes one more time, hopefully one last time, to lose all I have to lose. To become a place free of time and space,
For love to happens, over and over,
On blade of grass, on the edge of moon’s lips on skin of night,
In face of strangers, and silent imitation of birds,
Come and end me
To reborn out of my new heart
Into a boundless echo of Now.
Now or never,
I promise you,
our forever no ending love affair in Now.

Serena Devi

From Tehran to Freedom – repost

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In Tehran,
The crows fly
Above the prison’s bar,
One by one,
Carry nothing,
Except fear.
In Tehran,
Pedestrians must wait
A life time
If they follow the law
To cross.
Unending wait
for the next stop light’s green.
In Tehran,
Sun doesn’t know
Where to set,
Mountains are disappeared
Behind the smokes.
In Tehran,
Original is a dream,
And everything else
is a version,
a copy,
an imitate of real.
In Tehran,
All birds
must fill out a form
Before they break
The sky’s limit,
Must chain their wings,
To burden
Painfully,
cry” we are still here”…
In Tehran,
Memories are
the only free zone,
That people could walk in peace.
The present,
Is full of hardship,
injustice,
violence is the norm,
and kindness is a luxury
that no one could even wish.
In Tehran,
My heart is a prisoner
Who tries to forget the reasons,
And surrender to what it is
Yet, most of the days,
pain speaks her.
Only hope
Knocks on my door
once in a while,
In a middle of nightmares,
To whisper…
Soon, soon
you will depart.
In Tehran,
Gardens are caged
Between guns,
And children
Are not allowed
To chase butterflies.
Dreams are forbidden,
Being yourself
is a crime.
In Tehran,
Poets are cautious
with words,
Passion is no longer a trend.
Guitar players,
Forget how to play
all strings.
Music is a senseless act
of a victim
sentenced to a gas chamber,
smelling a red rose.
Behind walls
Fear breathes,
Low and close.
Anytime, anyone
Could break in
To plunder someone’s life,
And no advertisement for
human’s right
in the city hall.
The burden in my heart
Is a longing of a nation,
To be met again,
In freedom,
To share simple things,
Without fear,
To be a creation of love
Bow again
In fields of lovers and passion,
To Rumi, hazif and khayam.
In Tehran,
Many years ago,
I used to climb
High mountains,
“Inhale fresh air,
See beautiful wild flowers,
Smell and eat abeh gosht*
Rest in stillness shade,
Drink mint tea,
Steal kisses from clouds,”
It wasn’t just me,
It was everyone’s tale,
In laugh,
in happiness,
living in light.
Now,
we call those days,
Untouchable memories…
In Tehran,
I packed and unpacked,
Many suitcases,
many times, each journey
unfolded a bit of path that I was on,
consciousness on a rise!
This time,
I pack my longings,
They don’t take much space,
One small pack,
tagged in the name of god.
I leave behind
All belongings, possessions,
In a recycle bin.
I wait for no one,
I know after summer,
Autumn will brings
The right wind.
I take back my wings,
Free of all chains,
Attachments, beliefs, stories.
I shall fly to a new life,
Somewhere else
will welcome,
My wandering soul,
With open hands.
I will plant a new me
In its fresh soil.
I make a kite of
the pages of
my poetry,
and my heart
roars
in silence.
* Abeh Gosht A persian food made by lamb stew
© Serena Devi,

A different kind of woman

In your search,
I abandon all memories,
Seasons,
all I was familiar with
once.

In your search,
I cut my heart,
In many pieces,
left them at each cross
Where love got crucified
For the sake of ignorance.

Can’t you see,
Every step I took
Since we met
I have been trying
To get closer to you.

Can’t you see,
My thorn apart heart,
My eyes full of tears,
The bended body
Around web of time,
Counting beads,
counting breaths,
Hoping to meet you again.

There are many kinds of women,
Wives, mothers,
queens, prostitutes.

I was a different kind,
My body was made of love,
soft like a silk,
sweet like a chocolate,
I wanted just to love,
and i did.
it was much harder
to accept, to be loved
without fear of judgment
in my own mind or another.

Every beating took me closer within,
away from distractions,
away from the game of life,
away and so deep in love,
That I forgot that I have a body,
That I have a face.
I became You.
When each cell
turned upside down,
By force beyond mine,
Until nothing was left,
from the old me.

This woman,
standing alone,
here, in now
Has lost all her thorns,
her memories, her desires,
or even her needs
Her human form
is still here,
What is inside
is far deeper, darker,
freer,
Than what once
was appeared on earth,
As a newborn.

I was a different kind,
I lived with my heart
between my palms,
I knew nothing except love,
The greatest mystery of all,
The womb that holds everything,
From sadness to the shadow,
Within I found peace,
a small nest
to sleep close to your dream.
Create and discover
more of what is unsaid
inside each human’s heart,
longing to belong,
to be whole.

Your love,
made me different,
What is here,
is not mine anymore,
I gave it all back
All through my years
on earth,
I melted in your love…
In sadness, in joy, in light, in dark
In nothingness.

My share of happiness
Rises every morning from east,
Where all sparrows
fly parallel to sun,
My share of happiness,
Ends every evening
Where my eyes zoom into sunset
and heart beats follow
the colourful wings of butterflies
to rest in your faraway shore…

I am a different kind of woman,
The kind that couldn’t bear a child,
Yet, had a courage
to carry the burden
Of reflecting the truth,
Get hit by stones, break in silence
The floating life that I come from,
Might make a tragedy of my life
As a woman, as a human,
Yet,
in the heart of everything,
I know, I am a soul
And I shall stay on my path,
In your search,
I take all the hurt
And be stoned,
Till my body crashes and dies.

I am surrender inside
To your love,
and accept
What is outside.

Yes,
I am a different kind,
I know my origin,
I know my nature,
love is my home,
with you,
Every step I take,
I am closer
To our home.

© Serena Devi, April 2011