In Centre

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Between all of the mess and glory which we call it life.
Where, we laugh, cry, pray, enjoy, afraid, make love, run, teach, unlearn, get confused, hurt, smile and finally when we had enough, get quiet.
Between all the masks we wear all through life, man, woman, lover, spiritual, poet, artist, teacher, master, begger, guru, traveler,..
Between all the chaos and noises… drop everything that you think you know,
no planning, no going or coming,
no knowing or not knowing
no words, no sound
listen to your centre.
rest in silence,
like a wave of an ocean,
like a bird in sky,
like a baby in her mother’s womb
like a day knowing her night
like a poem written without a pen
like a grape swimming in her own taste
like a lovers, kissing without a lips, touching without a body.
rest in your centre,
like a spring murmuring in her cherry blossom
like me, sitting alone on white sheets of my heart
knowing, one drop of your love
will turn everything in floating ocean of ecstasy.

I say no more, my beloved,
as no longer I know, who is here and who is gone.
Love is mute, magical and free.

Serena Devi

Burning Love

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This path is too long
I can’t remember where my roots are buried
where seeds of my joy will be planted.
Today, I am here with no cloth or name,
I am here with no past or future
love won my silence and words became a stranger
love conquered the bridges to my heart
and aloneness became my husband.
Do not ask me what my plans are,
do I know who I am…
because I cry.
Because this path is too long
to be shared with anyone,
not even the shadow.
Everything must be dropped, purified, screamed
Dissolve in light of silence.
You know my heart is yours
so my life and integrity,
stop this torture, let me rest in knowing
that I know nothing,
help me to surrender
as my body is no longer my home,
I belong to nowhere, to no one.
So, I must be with You,
it MUST be US,
who knows except the maker
the songs of my heart
tears of my gratitude
and joy of seeing your eyes and forgetting mine.

The path is too long,
and love so burning,
there is no other way
but be a burning sun when you love God,
As I do,
Be silent my heart, I am the burning one.

Serena Devi, Feb 2017, Larnaca

 

Are we ready for truth?

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When I was younger, life seemed very different, my world was small and my needs so loud. I was thinking having things, like a house, car, a good job and circle of friends will be enough, will satisfy that place in me which I still have no name for it. I was sleep walking and couldn’t even feel the pain of walking on broken glasses, the darkness of fears and beliefs I was prisoned into.

These days, everyone talks about energy and vibration, everyone wants think and talk positive, otherwise what? Or the ship will sink!

Are we  still conditioned to certain way of being and now we need be always sunny.

Today, after years of noise, there is a silence sanctuary within me, within most of us, where we are witness to all the drama of life, with smile and hit of humour even in the face of most threatng events, we learnt to detach and let it pass.

But we also have a choice to hold of that nostalgic moment of uncertainty, not knowing how roots of sadness grasps our hearts, what happened to  sunny self. Why I feel so serious and listening to all craps of my mind when I know better!

It the past, I would struggle with my struggle, would try to remove it from my daily experience and would distract myself with some sort of action, doing something, calling someone, these days, I have no one to call to, it is a wide space of present and freedom, empty and available now, to get engaged with new people, connections, ideas and all of the sudden instead of getting creative and jump on unicorn of my dreams, I am sitting at a corner of room while sunny heart is hidden behind grey fluffy clouds, maybe for a moment I stop changing, directing,  having dialougue my every feelings and allow myself to be sad, to cry without reason, then laugh without a reason.

We are allowed to sit in our grieves, or pain, doesn’t matter they are all imaginary and not real, it is still a part of my ego play, let play it and let it pass. And I will do better tomorrow, because my different parts have more harmony after this scream into my own darkness.

Today, I want to live that darkness.

They are sides in us, in, out, middle…and hundreds more of rooms and corridors which we still have not discovered. Contentment is one of them, love is another, there is also this pantry which I like very much go and sit before sunset, I can see the entire sky without any birds and clouds from there… just before sun sets. That is time, I can really open up to music of my existence, after a long cry, a long shower of rain and ah, only then my heart is willing to see the rainbow again.

There is an entire universe lives and breathes inside our being and how could we even think, it should always be good, or strong, or need to always speak positive… and if we say our real feelings, e will be judged and perhaps people won’t see me as a teacher, a guru, a humble student, whatever we think we are, suddenly  becomes less, for expressing our true experience in that moment.

We are given the opportunity to have a form, to see and experience the wide spectrum of newness, feelings, ideas and actions .15 years ago, I would write my thoughts and cry my feelings between words and kept it in my little booklet without having a place to scream, today, the entire internet is your well, your mountain to go and scream, heard or not, you feel the release of tension, only because your mind still believes they are people out there! I wonder, how I am going to feel when enlightenment be discovered in one of these rooms and after that, my mind won’t even have the comfort of scream. J

But it is my journey, my path and over the last few weeks especially with a few big kicks and shocks from universe, I decided to spend more time listening to myself, those blue days that my heart wants to vanish behind clouds and I feel alone, I want to sit and hold myself in my arms, for as long as it takes… Because if my story in life was about the abandon child, then the only way that child in me, feel loved and appreciated is to have someone listening to her, stay fully with her. No one ever do this for you, except you!

My pain and joy, both comes from within and for that, I become responsible for my own being in a way that I never been before. So, what I eat, suddenly becomes a new topic and my body keeps shouting, enough, I can not eat this and that, change your eating habit… and I am so afraid to even listen, until, a shock comes which might not having anything to do with food and body, but has to do everything with life and my rooting and why I hide behind my weight and fat, to avoid certain feelings, certain people who always project my own darkness and fears…

So, I decided to sit today and just write, maybe for myself and perhaps for others.

Writing gives me space to feel and observe, to listen without judging myself, I only can do this with transparency, and that is why it gets hard, struggling with struggle, there is nowhere to hide, blame or make an excuse. I have to change, I have to find and discover what I don’t or can’t see at this moment, in me, it is not always believes, it could be a damaging values, but it is behind those grey clouds and unless I journey myself into those schizophrenic  hills and valleys, I won’t be able to unveil them, to se their nothingness, learn and grow.

So, from I to We, we must sit with our every moment and let it be lived in full. Expressing it or not, is a choice, which again we need to see our intention of all actions, doing of not doing!

By ending this note today, I find myself in a more relaxed stage than we I began. I might still not know why over the last couple of weeks, clouds pass my sky so often, but for sure, I know, writing takes their  seriousness away. I always smile, even between tears, sun always shines and love always wins.

Be who you are, no matter how it looks like from outside.

Serena Devi

 

Heart of rain

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We sit silently in rain in wonder of its beauty and mystery,
How it arrives and how magically it changes sky, lands, next door neighbor flower’s pot.
How suddenly seagulls get quiet and how strangely pedestrians disappear.
When wet leaves of tall trees dance with music of winds, how simply the beating of life
Moves, transforms and create magic.
I love rainy days, when the best thing is to pick up my pen and find a small sanctuary, where my share of window is as vast as the size of my heart and yet it feels, I am holding the whole universe within.
When part of me gently, shyly, full of uncertainty approaches another part, where my soul lips touch every corner of my face and I just want to become more receptive. Where, I no longer feel my human borders and stories. It feels, my every words are purified in raindrops, in soundless pounding of my heart, ah.. how much I love, How deep love stirs this body, this woman who has been travelling the my
Do I need reasons to live life, do I seek goals, achievements or unending list of desires to feel who I am, the constant change of lakes and pools, the beautiful flight of a wild geese into another unknown day, the shower of rain of open petals of love.
All secrets end in the heart, all beauty and magic that life could offers and a heart could receive and hold. The phenomenon, the Masterpiece, the meeting place of Galaxies, the humble house of a friend, where rain falls and wash all worries, fears, doubts and depressed moments, where one part of self leaves and the other unveil her sunny smiles. Where I die over and over, for Truth to live forever.
Today, I sat in heart of rain, without knowing where the music will take me, am I really at the edge of my final flight. How important my story is? Am a lover, a story teller, a Poet, a woman in search of a true love, what could I teach, what lessons are left?
What this “here” means to me? What am I inviting in my life? What I wish to see disappears by the next exhale… all questions are open gates to become more receptive, to land and rest in Divine love and stop trying to make sense of my situation, stop trying to find ways out of “here”. Let here comes, let it even breaks my hope for future, whose future am I looking at? When I am in forever becoming, like waves of ocean, tides moves me… it is no longer question or desire of close or far, now or then. It is about purifying every cell of light, within.. it is not about stories and plans, having income and rent a flat, make a living and feel secure. I have done all that… None brought me any peace, or sense of joy.
Today, under the shower of rain, my heart falls, falls without a safety net, into ocean of feelings, emotions, lost dreams and scattered plans, facing my life uncertainties, knowing and believing my abilities and talents, my flawless determination, none, can take me out of this rain, this must come, must fall on my heart, heart and a bare soul. I have no way out of this moment, except becoming soft, receptive, let the heat of alchemy finishes the last phase of integrating. I am standing alone on Earth, knowing the old way of earthy doing is over, from this moment on, only Authentic power of my Soul could creates, attracts and carry forward.
Under the shower of rain, I give birth to the greatest miracle of my life, The return of the Goddess, The Mother of All.
Open to the time of glory, magic and power beyond believes, open your heart and become as receptive as possible, in every moment. Allow her beauty, gentleness, love and compassion, wisdom and strength
Patient and humor, melts your heart. It is the era of Heart, the true guardian of the Truth.
Let all old patterns and ways of thinking, acting and analyzing ends, trust your heart, listen, listen to its silent words. It is the Silent Force rising in you, in me, in humanity right now.
As I am ending this sharing, I join the dance of leaves, falling deeper and deeper in love. In my pathless journey to experience myself in each inhale and exhale, to cherish what my eyes see, to express my imperfection in a perfect reflection. To not just love, but be love.

About all, just to be fully Alive, grateful and receptive.

~ Seren Devi ~