Let’s die

Let’s die to all small and big emotions of unsafety, loneliness, hurt and betrayal, failure and suffering.
There is no one’s fault, no image, no thought, no moment rises without being allowed, consciously or unconsciously by you.
Someone wants to wake up, it feels hard to sit still, accept and let silence nurture the exhausted self, the undeveloped and unloved parts of you. The desire for surrendering rise from your womb, the ache and longing for softness and receptivity, through time and space.

Who are you, within web of my body, are you Soul? Personality, a drop of a water from ocean of consciousness, all the undissolved parts waiting for alchemy process, to turn into love!! Who are you?
I call you, to come and sit with me, with gentleness of sky and patience of trees. Your presence is all I need, to find the strength to stand as whole in this unbearable pain and not runaway, not hide, not blame, just die in my own loving embrace and witness how the crack in my heart widens, moment by moment for the light to open up and show me the secret pathway to lifetimes patterns of self-sabotage and manipulation, fear of being authentic.
Sorrow is part of our breathing, it carves inside out, the passage for the flow of acceptance, self nourishing and love.

Let’ die to all stories of control and success,
To all false senses of security, belonging and power.
I want to die and at the same time give life to this intense feelings of discomfort, wow and wonder and extremely painful of maturity in my human form. When, moment by moment, waves take me from joy and playfulness, to disconnect and pressure, just to open a new gate and invite a deeper relation with all parts, as Who I AM.
Perhaps it is my last hope, or my first authentic act to retrieve all parts of my soul, in the present without fear of rejection and disapproval. It worth dying…Isn’t death also a beginning?
The deeper I look into the mirror of the world, the deeper I must travel to underworld of my feelings, meet the shadow and unloved and even lost parts of my soul. Some, I must bury with love and care, with patience and compassion, some, I have to sit, months, even years, for the invite… just to enter, just to accept, to open and allow healing… for self love to grow.
Can I ever travel beyond my stories? Some sounds like an old gramophone, pausing, rewinding on its own….I am tired of repetition of the sorrow stories, the abandon child and the hermit path.
Can I finally admit, surrender to life as it comes, let flow truly moves me forward. Can I enter this moment, virgin, no sense of good or bad, no need or desire to do or not to do.
Let’s die and open up to more love, fall into unknown and even when it feels my skin is burning and I can’t stand one more minute in front of the heat of transformation and illumination, lets stay still, while parts of me dying that no longer serving my growth.
Let die and accept this human experience as without this body, I could never know, how beautiful I can be, how hard the ground of life feels and how amazing standing up is. How much more I can delve in, to be more truthful, humble and sensitive to all.
Let die and accept the agony of lessons and changes and embrace the magical ecstatic moments of ecstasy, when everything becomes one, and feels I never left home.
Today, I crossed a deadly desert, still feel hot, confused, vulnerable, nowhere to hide, rest or wait for the next day. So, come and hold my hands, my light, my shadow, my ache in the chest, my forever lover, my breath of longing, come and stay with me, until I die completely, turn to ashes one more time, hopefully one last time, to lose all I have to lose. To become a place free of time and space,
For love to happens, over and over,
On blade of grass, on the edge of moon’s lips on skin of night,
In face of strangers, and silent imitation of birds,
Come and end me
To reborn out of my new heart
Into a boundless echo of Now.
Now or never,
I promise you,
our forever no ending love affair in Now.

Serena Devi

Two hearts

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Breaks, it breaks,
the song of a caged bird
inside the forgotten breeze
it breaks the silence; when the anticipation of my heart
runs down the narrow path of discovery,
and my feeling weave a net of “don’t touch me”
around my breathing.
Then, I know,
all the new things come into life, fertile of free moments
to soften my edges of humanness, to make a perfect round shape of my breasts,
to take away the clips from my wings,
to let my throat rests is cool watery taste of melon and honey
when longing disappears, in tender touch and embracement of my soul
sunbathing with tides and emerging with waves of light,
when everything circles around my eyes, and my feverish body bends, to not break.
To stay alone and get used to solitude, where all dreams are squeezed
Into a bitter but heathy smoothie of Consciousness.
In hope, my existence goes beyond sway of curtains,
while my smiley face slaps over destiny waves,
and my heart, peels her skin of duality, in tears and sometimes even joy.

It breaks, soul maturity breaks my imagiery walls, fears of let go …
to sing like a siren and dance like a butterfly,
to be and make love as a passionate woman with every sacred things of life.
to drop gently on skin of Earth, like a snowflakes
to rest peacefully, like red tulips on the edge of grass,
to hold still, like a warm embrace of sun,
to let go, like a sweet song of a hummingbird,
to rise joyful, like lovers from one bed,
to accept who I Am, with no condition or limitation.
To love with two hearts, one for myself and the other for another me,
To let everything finds its own level, like a stream of a river, joining a sea.

To caress everything, with sacred tears or a gentle touch,
To have faith the journey of the ripen grapes,
To take a delight from shade of two lovers, hand in hand.

To know oneself is freedom,
to love another heart is an eternal dream,
It’s silence breaks.

Serena Devi, 19th July 2014

Moments

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Could we open an intimate conversation
Without fear or resistance
To reflect, to unfold, to accept and let go
To let our life become a vast, boundless and abundant
place to meet truth, love and peace, moment to moment.

Could we look into each other’s soul and before calling another “You”
before blame and guilt of our hidden humans’ wounds
move us to act premature, unfair and sometimes even ruthless, could we phase and own our experience, without making another responsible for what we feel, think and believe. Could we have the patience and compassion with ourselves, to stay in our own pain and suffering , wait and trust,
without knowing where this opening to our inner struggle will take us.

Feel what we feel in moments, pain, anger, frustration, whatever comes, we embrace without labeling or changing it. When YOU is nothing but another suppress part of ourselves, behind thousand veils of illusion, could we just trust our heart and let the moment lightens another dark corner of our endless abyss of soul, to discover, to love and accept, to transform.
Our willingness and faith is the remedy to heal our undeveloped parts, to live an authentic life, accepting our vulnerabilities, accepting our dark parts and allowing is an act of courage and empowerment. The new space helps life to flow, to wash and heal, to direct and create.
By changing our perception, we experience ourselves in a new way and our vibrations shift from low (struggle, anger, self- seeking) to higher (forgiveness, compassion and love).
Today, mirror showed me that if I stop jumping up and down, the reflection will also stops, our energy is a forever repeating blue sky, when clouds are removed, all we see is Blue/Sky/Within.

Serena Devi, 19 July 2014

From Tehran to Freedom – repost

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In Tehran,
The crows fly
Above the prison’s bar,
One by one,
Carry nothing,
Except fear.
In Tehran,
Pedestrians must wait
A life time
If they follow the law
To cross.
Unending wait
for the next stop light’s green.
In Tehran,
Sun doesn’t know
Where to set,
Mountains are disappeared
Behind the smokes.
In Tehran,
Original is a dream,
And everything else
is a version,
a copy,
an imitate of real.
In Tehran,
All birds
must fill out a form
Before they break
The sky’s limit,
Must chain their wings,
To burden
Painfully,
cry” we are still here”…
In Tehran,
Memories are
the only free zone,
That people could walk in peace.
The present,
Is full of hardship,
injustice,
violence is the norm,
and kindness is a luxury
that no one could even wish.
In Tehran,
My heart is a prisoner
Who tries to forget the reasons,
And surrender to what it is
Yet, most of the days,
pain speaks her.
Only hope
Knocks on my door
once in a while,
In a middle of nightmares,
To whisper…
Soon, soon
you will depart.
In Tehran,
Gardens are caged
Between guns,
And children
Are not allowed
To chase butterflies.
Dreams are forbidden,
Being yourself
is a crime.
In Tehran,
Poets are cautious
with words,
Passion is no longer a trend.
Guitar players,
Forget how to play
all strings.
Music is a senseless act
of a victim
sentenced to a gas chamber,
smelling a red rose.
Behind walls
Fear breathes,
Low and close.
Anytime, anyone
Could break in
To plunder someone’s life,
And no advertisement for
human’s right
in the city hall.
The burden in my heart
Is a longing of a nation,
To be met again,
In freedom,
To share simple things,
Without fear,
To be a creation of love
Bow again
In fields of lovers and passion,
To Rumi, hazif and khayam.
In Tehran,
Many years ago,
I used to climb
High mountains,
“Inhale fresh air,
See beautiful wild flowers,
Smell and eat abeh gosht*
Rest in stillness shade,
Drink mint tea,
Steal kisses from clouds,”
It wasn’t just me,
It was everyone’s tale,
In laugh,
in happiness,
living in light.
Now,
we call those days,
Untouchable memories…
In Tehran,
I packed and unpacked,
Many suitcases,
many times, each journey
unfolded a bit of path that I was on,
consciousness on a rise!
This time,
I pack my longings,
They don’t take much space,
One small pack,
tagged in the name of god.
I leave behind
All belongings, possessions,
In a recycle bin.
I wait for no one,
I know after summer,
Autumn will brings
The right wind.
I take back my wings,
Free of all chains,
Attachments, beliefs, stories.
I shall fly to a new life,
Somewhere else
will welcome,
My wandering soul,
With open hands.
I will plant a new me
In its fresh soil.
I make a kite of
the pages of
my poetry,
and my heart
roars
in silence.
* Abeh Gosht A persian food made by lamb stew
© Serena Devi,